


Five Times that Charles Got Lost in Erik's Mind, and One Reason Erik Lets Him Stay

by crescentmoonthemage



Category: X Men, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Crescent Writes A Fic, Erik Logic Is The Best Logic, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, Five Times, M/M, andsoischarles, crsecentwritesafivefic, erikisadorable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 11:32:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1426912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentmoonthemage/pseuds/crescentmoonthemage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five meetings. One goodbye. Five conversations. One word. Five days. One night. Five thoughts. One memory. Two minds. One heart.</p><p>Five reasons Erik falls in love. One time Charles falls harder.</p><p>Five times that Charles gets himself lost in Erik's mind. One reason Erik lets him stay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times that Charles Got Lost in Erik's Mind, and One Reason Erik Lets Him Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Crescent writes a five fic! This came directly out of Tumblr and my tired brain. This work has a lot of mental conversation between Erik and Charles, so here's some clarification.
> 
> Bold and italics is Erik. Italics is Charles.

1.)

 

 

Erik thought having Charles in his mind was  _maddeningly_ sexy. It was the very first time Charles and Erik had met. He was underwater and the submarine was getting away and he could practically taste the vengeance and his lungs were chocking up but he didn't care. A strong hand was grabbing his shoulder and suddenly, there was a voice, like tea on a cold winter's day:

 

_Calm your mind._

 

Erik turned around in the water, blowing bubbles as he saw another man behind him in the water. His grip on the submarine did not loosen, but he was running out of air...

 

_You can't. You'll drown. You have to let go. I know what this means to yo_ u,  _but you're going to die. Please, Erik, calm your mind!_

 

Erik sighed, loosening his mental hold on the submarine and watching it float into the deep. The man pulled him to the surface, and he grabbed onto the side of what appeared to be a Coast Guard ship, breathing hard. The wet, kind, and _notoriously_ attractive man clung on beside him. “Who are you?” asked Erik, brushing his wet hair out of his face.

 

“My name's Charles Xavier.”

 

“You were in my head. How did you do that?”

 

“You have your tricks, I have mine. I'm like you, just calm your mind.”

 

_**How can I when I want to snog you against a wall?** _ thought Erik. Of course he couldn't say that, so he opted for the next best thing: “I thought I was alone.”  _**Boom, guilt tripping.** _

 

“You're not alone.”

 

_**Well, duh, but thanks for the clarification.** _

 

_You do know I can hear you, right?_ came the voice of Charles, in his head. It was dark, so Erik was glad Charles could not see the hot blush on his cheeks. 

 

_**You didn't hear my earlier remarks, did you?** _ he asked.

 

_ That was the first one I've picked up on. Calm your mind, Erik. Calm your mind. This is important to you, but there will be another opportunity. _

 

Erik's mind was anything but calm as they were pulled over the edge of the ship. As the man who called himself Charles, still dripping wet, vanished below, and the traces of the telepath in his mind no longer lingered, Erik allowed himself some thought. Some thought on what he wanted to do with the telepath, push him onto a table, hands in his dark hair, jumper on the floor, and...

 

_ You do know I'm still in there, right? _

 

_**Shit.** _

 

2.)

 

It was high time that Erik left. It wasn't that he had a commitment issue... but well, he had a commitement issue. And it was probably better if he wasn't around. Alone was what he had, alone protected him. So he grabbed his never-unpacked bag and the file that told of Shaw's whereabouts, and snuck out. No goodbyes. Why would that Charles character even want him around? As far as he could tell, no one had ever wanted him around, much less the perfect creature who called himself Charles Xavier. He would sate himself by finding some other man once he was gone, perhaps a quickie or two in a motel room. But he had been looking for something more for a while. It was sort of like browsing in a mall for hours and leaving unhappy, yet coming back later and accidentally finding the perfect jacket on a model in a Topman window.

 

But he didn't need jackets, he convinced himself. He was halfway down the walk when he heard a maddening voice. _**No goodbyes,**_ he told himself.

 

_Too bad,_ came the familiar voice in his mind. 

 

Sighing, he turned around to see Charles walking down the path to stop a few feet from him. 

 

“From what I know about you, I'm surprised you managed to stay this long,” pointed out Xavier. 

 

_**You're the reason I'm- no you are not going there, stop it now, Erik.** _ “What do you know about me?” he finally managed.

 

“Everything.” came the reply.

 

“Then you know to stay out of my mind.” _**And my heart.**_

 

“I'm sorry, Erik. But I've seen what Shaw did to you.” _**Have you seen what you do to me?**_ “I feel your agony, I can help you,” Charles continued.”

 

Erik's heart leapt, but he turned away all the same. _**Love is for children,**_ he convinced himself. _**Love's brought me only death and pain.**_

 

“I don't need help.” he said, harshly.

 

Charles laughed. “Don't kid yourself. You needed my help last night. It's not just me you're walking away from. It's the chance to be part of something much bigger then yourself. I won't stop you leaving. I could, but I won't.”

 

Erik turned to walk away, before he heard Charles's parting blow: “Shaw's got friends, you could do with some.”

 

Erik sighed, watching Perfect Charles Xavier walk inside. He continued his walk down the path.

 

_You know, I-_

_**Get out of my mind.** _

 

_Not a chance._

 

Erik's mental strength lasted a few more hours, into a cheap motel and a bottle of whiskey, before a sleepless night told him all he needed to know about his heart.

 

Let's just say Charles wasn't really surprised when Erik walked back in the next day.

 

 

 

 

3.)

 

“You look like a lab rat,” Erik ventured, a smile on his face. _**An adorable lab rat.**_

 

“I do not!” came the indignant reply. _But thank you._

 

“Been a lab rat,” he countered. “I know one when I see one.”

 

Charles laughed, and Erik couldn't help but smile. _**God, Charles was infectious, you're infectious.**_

 

_Infectious, wow. Thanks for that term._

 

_**I mean it in the nicest possible way. Now get out of my mind, you have work to do.** _

 

_What makes you think I'm ever leaving you alone?_

 

That just made Erik smile again, made him a bit uncharacteristically weak at the knees. He was sure that Charles was just teasing him, now.

 

A sudden shout made Erik look up, to see Charles, gripping the armrests of the stand so tight his fingers were turning white. Erik had a strange urge to take his hand, but he put it off, until he felt the pull of Charles in his mind. There was a struggle, white and black and pain and wide open and closed. Erik gave up his struggle and closed his fingers around one of Charles's hands. He saw Charles begin to relax and squeeze his hand, knitting their fingers. Only then, Erik realized, with pleasure, did coordinates begin to churn out of the printer. Charles was still in his mind, and Erik concentrated on that one tiny scrap of Charles, seeing what he saw, feeling what he felt. Mutants, millions of mutants, waiting to be discovered, like hidden gems. They could walk through walls, talk to animals, turn invisible.

 

His grip on Charles's hand grew tighter, and they saw it together, the world in black and white. Suddenly, the machine was switched off, and Charles was letting go of his hand, stepping down from the machine.

 

“Wonderful work, Hank, I must say. That was incredible.”

 

“It looked like it,” said Erik. “Time to recruit?”

 

“Oh, most definitely.”

 

_Thank you._

 

_**You're welcome.** _

 

And as soon as they walked out of the room, Charles's hand was in Erik's again, and his mind was in Erik's, and the world slowly got better and better.

 

 

4.)

 

“If you know you can deflect it, you're not challenging yourself,” said Erik, putting his hands in the pockets of his large gray hoodie. “I'll give you a challenge. See that?” Charles pointed to a huge white satellite, clearly visible about three-quarters of a mile away. “Make it face us.”

 

Erik looked at him in surprise. Xavier nodded, and the trust and truth in the depths of those sea-foam eyes was all the encouragement he needed. He stared at the satellite, before using everything he had. His hands stretched, his face grew red with effort... but still the satellite sat facing away, mocking him.

 

“I can't do it,” he gasped out.

 

“Come on,” said Charles, taking his hand. “What happened to the man who tried to lift a submarine out of the water?”

 

Erik shook his head, pulling his hand out of Charles's and beginning to walk away. “I'm not angry enough. I need the moment, the pain, the anger.”

 

“You don't need anger,” Charles insisted, grabbing his shoulder and turning Erik around.

 

“It's worked just fine all this time.” he complained, trying once more to walk away. Charles just followed. “It's nearly gotten you killed all this time.”

 

That gave Erik pause. He turned around, to see unlimited reserves of trust and acceptance in those eyes. “You have got a point there.”

 

Charles didn't laugh, as he'd hoped. “I think you need to be somewhere else, in the point between rage and serenity.” He looked at Erik, entering the other man's mind as comfortably as slipping into a favorite jumper.

 

_May I?_

 

_**You ask if you can enter my mind once you're already in my mind. I guess there's no stopping you now.** _

 

He could hear the laughter in the other man's thoughts. Suddenly, a memory filled him from within. He was a child, at a table, with lights, and his parents, and a birthday cake. Everything was happy, and the room was suffused with a radiant glow. He suddenly realized that tears were pricking at his eyes, and turning towards Charles, saw the other man wiping a tear from his cheek as well.

“What did you do?” he asked, voice cracking as the memory faded.

 

“I accessed the deepest corner of your memory. A beautiful memory, thank you, Erik, for that.”

 

“I didn't know I still had that.” His eyes turned back to the satellite, and moving his hands, he strained, strained, and watched as the satellite moved, turning, until it faced them, like a new sun rising. A grin overtook his face, and he found himself laughing along with Erik. The younger man clapped him on the shoulder, and their joyous laughter filled the yard with melody. Erik embraced him, and they stood for a moment, still smiling.

 

The moment was broken when a window opened. Moira poked her head out. “Come in, you guys! The President's about to make his address!”

 

Erik sighed.

 

_**I guess this means I can't snog you now?** _

 

But only a moment later did he realize that Charles was not in his mind any more and was walking inside. “You know, I really don't mind you in my mind.” he pointed out.

 

Charles turned around, smiling. “I just came out for the time being. I'll be back later, there were just some things I have to ponder.”

 

So inside they went.

 

5.)

 

It was in the early hours of the morning that a soft knock came on Erik's door. “It's unlocked,” he called, and the door opened to admit Charles. The man was in pajamas and his hair was slightly mussed. “What's up?” asked Erik, realizing only then that he did not have a shirt on and that Charles was most definitely aware of that fact.

 

“Can't sleep, and can't think. I assumed I could think better without you in my mind, and...”

 

“And?”

 

_I was wrong._

 

Erik smiled, as Charles came to sit on the bed beside him.

 

_**What do you mean, me in your mind. I'm not a telepath, I thought it was a one-way thing.** _

 

_Usually, it is. Usually, I can communicate with someone in their mind, and I can see their thoughts, and they can't see mine. But with you I can't control it. I lose all of that, so I'm in your mind as much as you're in mine._

 

_**Why can't you control it?** _

 

_I don't know. That's why I went back into my own mind earlier, because I had some things to think about. Oddly enough, it's harder to think when you're not around then when you are._

 

_**Funny how that sort of thing works.** _

 

_Erik... I..._

 

_**What?** _

 

“I'm scared,” Charles blurted out. “I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. We might all be dead by the time the sun goes down and the world might be locked in another war. I'm scared of failing.”

 

“You won't fail,” said Erik quietly.

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Because you're Charles Xavier.”

 

Even so, Charles looked close to tears, and so Erik gathered him into his arms, and they sat on the bed, Charles's head on Erik's chest and Erik's arms around Charles.

 

_But Charles Xavier wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Erik Lehnsherr._

 

_**And Erik Lehnsherr wouldn't have gotten anywhere without Charles Xavier.** _

 

A few minutes later, Erik let go of Charles. “What are you doing?” asked Charles.

 

“We're going to bed,” said Erik.

 

“What?” A surprised squeak elicited its way out of Charles's mouth.

 

“Not like that, you oaf,” said Erik. “But it's past midnight, and you won't sleep if you're alone, and I won't sleep at all, so why don't we sleep together?”

 

Charles made no reply except to pull the covers up. He crawled underneath and Erik settled beside him, turning the lamp off. Charles's shoulder was lightly touching his, and Erik realized just how tight he felt. So, he gently tugged the other man's shirt off. Charles stiffened a bit, but stayed lying down.

 

_**I promised, didn't I?** _

 

_I suppose you did._

 

Erik put his hands on Charles's back and began to rub, massaging his shoulders until some of the tension knots had all but vanished. The younger man's breathing had evened out, and Erik could feel Charles's presence in his mind, sleeping soundly. Erik pressed a hesitant kiss to Charles's shoulder, before putting an arm around him and, despite his wishes, fell deeply asleep.

 

 

 

+1.)

 

 

When Erik had put on the helmet, the world was so quiet. There was no more chatter, no more of Charles's thoughts mingled with his own. It was so silent that it was deafening. He smiled. He liked the silence. Now he could have as many homicidal thoughts as he liked without any issue from the other man inside his mind. Charles was still, sort of there... but it was like a distant memory, like something he could not quite recall. But Shaw was dead. And that made him guiltily happy.

 

Now Charles was standing across the beach from him, staring at him with immense sadness, and Erik almost felt guilty. But the man he had been the night before, the man he had been in the mansion and in his past life, the man he had been _with Charles_ was gone. A better, stronger man remained.

 

“You're insane!” shouted Moira, getting out her gun. _**Shame, that was a pretty impressive speech I bullshitted. Sad to see it go to waste.**_

 

He had no time to take the gun from her hand, so he blocked the bullets instead, one after another after another ricocheting off his hand, until...

 

A scream pulled him from his state, and he whirled around to see Charles, _his_ Charles, fall to the sand.

 

 

“You,” he growled, at Moira. “This is your fault!” He lifted her from the ground by her buttons with one hand, and the other began to strangle her with her dog tags. He pressed, harder, harder, until: “This isn't her fault. It's yours.”

 

He dropped her, this new persona shattering like glass, and suddenly he was just Erik Lehnsherr, running towards Charles Xavier in the sand. He cradled Charles in his lap, tears threatening at the corners of his eyes. “Us turning on each other, it's what they want. I tried to warn you, Charles. I want you by my side. We're more then them, you and I. All of us, together, protecting each other. We want the same thing.”

 

Erik stared at him, immense sadness and pain in his beautiful green eyes. “My friend, I'm sorry. But we do not.”

 

A tear trickled out of Charles's eye, and Erik brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. Suddenly, the silence became deafening, too much to bear, so Erik yanked off the helmet, setting it in the sand. _**Charles, please,**_ he pleaded.

 

_Erik, you know I can't._

 

More and more tears gathered at the corners of Erik's eyes, and some of them spilled, pouring down his cheeks like a torrent of rain.

 

_**I love you,** _ he choked out.

 

_I love you._

 

Erik leaned down and kissed Charles, their lips mingling with their tears, and it tasted like regret, pain, a goodbye. It tasted like forever.

 

When Erik finally pulled away, Charles was crying freely now.

 

_**I have no choice.** _

 

_You always have a choice._

 

_**Goodbye, dearest Charles.** _

 

_Goodbye._

 

Erik sobbed, crying and crying. He listened to Charles in his mind, the familiar taste of a mind, like meadows in springtime. Then, he picked the helmet up.

 

_**No going back.** _

 

_No going back._

 

_**I'm sorry.** _

 

He put on the helmet, lowering it over his head, and the voice of his best friend, the man he loved, was blocked. He got up, and Moira ran over. He only allowed himself one last look at the one man who knew him, the man whom he knew, before Azazel vanished them all.

 

…...

 

“What about your telepath friend?” asked a girl made of diamonds.

 

“Gone. Left a bit of a gap in my life, if I'm to be honest. I was rather hoping you'd fill it. Join us.”

 

“Erik, I believe?” she asked, with a flirtatious grin.

 

“I prefer Magneto,” he replied. _**Only one man can call me Erik, and he's gone. Gone, and he ripped a hole in me bigger then the hole I ripped in him. He's gone, and he's not coming back.**_

 

_You really believe that?_

 


End file.
